Son of a Trickster Read online

  ALSO BY EDEN ROBINSON

  Traplines

  Monkey Beach

  Blood Sports

  The Sasquatch at Home: Traditional Protocols & Modern Storytelling

  PUBLISHED BY ALFRED A. KNOPF CANADA

  Copyright © 2017 Eden Robinson

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review. Published in 2017 by Alfred A. Knopf Canada, a division of Penguin Random House Canada Limited. Distributed in Canada by Penguin Random House Canada Limited, Toronto.

  www.​penguinrandomhouse.​ca

  Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

  Robinson, Eden, author

  Son of a trickster / Eden Robinson.

  Issued in print and electronic formats.

  ISBN 978-0-345-81078-6

  eBook ISBN 978-0-345-81080-9

  I. Title.

  PS8585.O35143S65 2017 C813′.54 C2016-903143-8

  Cover design by Jennifer Lum

  Cover image © Tanor / Shutterstock.​com

  Interior images: (feathers) © Tanor, (ravens) © SPYDER, both Shutterstock.​com

  v4.1

  a

  For Sam & Leenah & Damon

  ’Cause you rule

  Some of Coyote’s stories have got Coyote tails and some of Coyote’s stories are covered with scraggy Coyote fur but all of Coyote’s stories are bent.

  —Thomas King, A Coyote Columbus Story

  CONTENTS

  Cover

  Also by Eden Robinson

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  1. Nanas I Have Loved

  2. Simultaneousity

  3. The Food of Worms

  4. All Shook Up

  5. The Advice & Wisdom of Nana Sophia

  6. Powder House Rules

  7. Norman Rockwell Redux

  8. The Christmas Tree Hunt

  9. Cooking with Ebony

  10. Abandonment Issues

  11. Requiem for the Trilobites

  12. New Year’s Weltschmerz

  13. Oxydipal Complex

  14. Lost

  15. Destiny Knocks

  16. Rockstar

  17. Cookie Dude

  18. KFC & Beer Solve Everything

  19. Adventures at the All Native

  20. The Human Manual

  21. Home Alone

  22. Ragged-Ass Road

  23. Doctor Who Marathon

  24. Kiss & Make Up

  25. Hunt with the Noble Orca

  26. Spiral

  27. When the Voice in Your Head Is a Monster

  28. Always the Bridesmaid

  29. Firefly

  30. Welcome to the Jungle

  31. The Universe Is a Lonely Hunter

  32. Dylan Quits Hockey

  33. The Shadow of Your Existence

  34. Secrets & Lies

  35. The Cave

  36. Goodbye to All That

  37. Two Tickets to Paradise

  38. We’ll Always Have Alderaan

  39. Summertime Sadness

  40. Sucks to Be You

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  1

  NANAS I HAVE LOVED

  His tiny, tightly permed maternal grandmother, Anita Moody, had never liked him. As far back as Jared could remember, she’d watched him suspiciously with her clear black eyes. She never let him come closer than an arm’s length from her, making him sit on the ratty blue couch while she sat in the kitchen of her small house near the Bella Bella Band Store. Once, when she was chatting with someone, she stopped when she noticed him, tensing as if she expected him to go haywire.

  “Wee’git,” she’d say if his parents left them alone. “If you hurt her, I will kill you and bury you where no one can resurrect you. Get, you dirty dog’s arse.”

  “I’m Jared,” he’d said.

  “Trickster,” she’d said. “You still smell like lightning.”

  She was a cuddly grandma with his cousins, sitting them at the kitchen table and giving them popcorn balls, homemade fudge and caramel apples. She knitted mittens with their names embroidered on the back. The last birthday present she’d given him was a jar of blood with little animal teeth rolling around the bottom.

  “Fucking cuntosaurus,” his mom had said, snatching it from him. “She doesn’t believe me, does she? No faith. None.”

  “Jared, buddy, this isn’t about you,” his dad had said.

  “She doesn’t like me,” Jared said.

  “She doesn’t mean it,” his dad said.

  His mother spat. “Sonny boy, it’s got nothing to do with you and everything to do with what a fuck-up she thinks I am.”

  “She’d never hurt you,” his dad said.

  “Because I will fuck her up one side and down the other if she lays a single finger on you,” his mom said. “I will fuck her up good.”

  When Jared was almost five, his mother decided they should move, so his dad found work at Eurocan, a pulp-and-paper mill in a town called Kitimat. His mom showed it to him on the map, tracing his finger over the ferry route they were going to take up the Inside Passage. They packed up their townhouse in one weekend, forfeiting their damage deposit. As they were loading the last boxes late in the evening, his grandmother came and stood in front of the moving truck. Jared ducked behind his mother.

  “Don’t,” his dad said, grabbing her arm. “Maggie. Think.”

  His mom jerked her arm away. His dad lifted Jared and propped him on his hip. His mom got into the driver’s side. She revved the engine. His grandmother stared at his mother, waiting.

  “Maggie,” his dad said.

  “Momma,” Jared said.

  His mom turned the engine off. She got out and went to stand nose to nose with her mother. His dad slid behind the wheel.

  “I’ve lost all patience with you, old woman. Don’t push me.”

  “Be careful,” his grandmother said. “You know what he did to me. That isn’t your son. It’s the damn Trickster. He’s wearing a human face, but he’s not human.”

  “You’re one to talk.”

  “Marguerite, listen to me. He’s dangerous.”

  “Lay your old-school crap on my boy one more time and I will fuck you up your dry, lifeless ass.”

  “I tried,” his grandmother said, backing down, moving to the side of the road to stand in the grass. “You have no ears.”

  “Fuck off and stay fucked, cunt.”

  His dad placed Jared’s hands on the steering wheel.

  “Toot, toot,” his dad said. “Let’s blow this Popsicle stand, Jelly Bean.”

  His mom got in the passenger side and slammed her door shut.

  “I think you missed a couple of swears, Hon,” his dad said.

  She gave him the stink eye. They started off for the ferry terminal. His grandma was a shrinking figure in the side mirror.

  His dad stopped at a stop sign, looking both ways even though no one was around. “You should learn some French so you can swear at her some more.”

  “Are you taking her side?”

  “Lord Almighty, no. Don’t run me over, Mags. Ahhhh.”

  She’d slugged his shoulder. Jared rocked with his dad, whose laugh started in his belly, bouncing him against the steering wheel.

  “I’m just saying Jelly Bean here is going to know the best curse words in kindergarten.”

  “Damn…tooting right, he will,” his mom said.

 
Jared hadn’t been on a ferry since he was a baby and he was so excited when he saw it, he bounced up and down, clapping. Driving inside was like being swallowed by a giant whale, like in the stories his babysitter Barbie read to him from the Bible. His dad grabbed a backpack and slung it over his shoulder before tucking Jared under his arm like a football. They crammed into the elevator with other sleepy passengers. His dad sat Jared on his shoulders. His mom rested her head against his dad’s arm.

  “It’s okay, Hon,” his dad said.

  They found some seats, but Jared whined to go onto the deck and his dad agreed to take him while his mom set up their sleeping bags on the floor. The wind was cold and the ferry gave a toot before pulling away from the terminal. Jared covered his ears until he was sure it was the only toot. The lights sparkled on the black water. The mountains were giant black lumps against the starry sky.

  The ferry rounded a point and Jared’s dad lifted him up so he could say goodbye to Bella Bella. The buildings and streets looked different from the ferry. He waved.

  “Goodbye to all that,” his dad said.

  —

  Nana Sophia, his father’s mother, lived in Prince Rupert with her fourth husband, Jim-Bob, whose real name was Reginald. No one had ever explained the nickname to him. They laughed in a way that told him it was a grown-up joke.

  They drove off the ferry at the Rupert terminal and his mom wanted to visit her friends, but his dad wanted to stop in to see his mother first. Nana Sophia’s house was on a steep hill and her front yard was a cliff. A wooden ramp with rickety railings led from the sidewalk to her front door, and Jared ran back and forth while they waited for Nana Sophia to answer the door. The ramp jiggled and rattled. They waited and waited and his parents argued about who had been supposed to tell her when they were coming in. They went out to a restaurant and Jared ate fish nuggets dipped in ketchup.

  Then they went to see his mom’s friends, who lived in a long series of grey townhouses. Her friends were having coffee in the kitchen and his mom joined them and screamed a lot with the other women. They compared children, and Jared was brought forward and stood back to back with a girl, and then made to hold babies and told to smile while flashes went off.

  Once the grown-ups were blabbing, the kids brought him outside and told him they were playing tag and he was it. Jared didn’t think it was fair because he didn’t know their apartment complex, but he also didn’t want to sit around the kitchen hearing the women swapping birth stories, dishing on who was fooling around or what they thought the sockeye run would be like this year.

  He tagged a little girl named Becky, who was his age, and was slow and couldn’t catch anyone. She moped, kicking the ground and whining about them all being too fast, until someone else volunteered to be “it.” After a while no one bothered to tag her so they could keep the game going. She cried and stomped around, telling everyone that they were going to be in big trouble if they didn’t play with her. She left and they kept playing. Becky’s mom came out and gave them hell for excluding Becky. After that, the game broke up and Jared was left alone with Becky, who still wanted to play tag.

  “You’re it,” she said.

  “I’m tired,” Jared said. “I’m going in.”

  “You can’t go in,” she said. “You’re it.”

  “It’s stupid to play with only two people,” Jared said.

  “You have to play,” Becky said.

  “I don’t.”

  “Do.”

  “Don’t.”

  “You don’t play fair,” Becky said. “I’m telling.”

  “That’s why no one wants to play with you,” he said. “You’re a big, whiny tattletale.”

  “You’re mean. I’m telling. And then you’re going to get in big trouble, mister.”

  “Go fuck yourself and the high horse you rode in on,” Jared said.

  Becky took off running and Jared tried to remember which apartment his parents were visiting. Then he remembered their moving truck and looked for that. He was sitting in the driver’s seat, pretending to drive, when his parents came out and glared at him. Jared locked the driver’s-side door.

  “Cute,” his dad said. “Real cute, Jared.”

  “Did you f-bomb Becky?” his mom said.

  His dad took out a fob and pushed a button that unlocked the door. He swung the door open and they waited for him to answer.

  “No,” Jared said.

  His mom cocked her eyebrow.

  “Maybe,” Jared said.

  “My daddy would have washed your mouth out with soap,” his dad said. “But I’m not him. And we haven’t exactly been shining examples, have we?”

  His mom turned to glare up at his dad. “Really, Phil?”

  “No dessert for a week, Jared,” his dad said.

  “Baby,” his mom said. “You aren’t getting any dessert either.”

  His father laughed. “No sugar for daddy.”

  “Ew,” Jared said. “I know what you guys are talking about.”

  “You do, huh?” his dad said.

  “Kissing and stuff.”

  “March your hiney inside,” his mom said. “And you say sorry to Becky.”

  “She started it.”

  “And we’re ending it,” his dad said. “Make nice, Jelly Bean.”

  Becky snapped her eyes at him and wouldn’t look his way while he mumbled sorry. Becky’s mom looked like she was going to rip into him, but Jared’s mom stepped forward and put her hand on Jared’s shoulder. Becky’s mom faked a smile. Jared’s mom faked a smile.

  “It’s been a slice,” his dad said. “We should say howdy to Mom before we hit the road, Hon.”

  —

  The lights were all on at Nana Sophia’s house. His dad bounced up the ramp and Nana Sophia flung open the door and he bear-hugged her, spinning her around the porch. His mom sighed. She held Jared’s hand as they walked slowly towards the house. Nana Sophia’s dark hair curled on her head as fluffy as cotton candy. She wore a tightly belted dress that puffed out around her knees. She had dark, shiny lipstick and a perfect birthmark on her left cheek.

  “Maggie, aren’t you hot as hell,” Nana Sophia said. “Phil here pooched my tummy so bad I had to get a tummy-tuck. But you look like you haven’t gained an ounce.”

  “Hi, Sophia,” his mom said.

  “And who do we have here? It’s my handsome grandson! It’s been so long I almost didn’t recognize you, my cutie patootie,” Nana Sophia said.

  Jared pressed himself against his mother’s leg, squeezing her hand hard.

  “Hey, Cutie,” Nana Sophia said. “Come give your nana a hug.”

  His dad picked him up and plopped him in Nana Sophia’s arms. She kissed his forehead and nuzzled her cheek against his. She smelled like flowers and old wood.

  “I missed you,” Nana Sophia said.

  “We missed you too,” his dad said.

  “Why don’t you leave my grandson here with me so we can catch up,” Nana Sophia said. “Go to the casino. Go dancing. Go be young and in love.”

  “He’s shy,” his mom said.

  “Are you shy, Cutie?” she said, kissing him. “Come have some cookies.”

  “Uh, no desserts for Jared this week, Mom. He’s been dropping the f-bomb with the other kids.”

  “My silly Jared,” Nana Sophia said. “Don’t you know that only hot chicks are allowed to swear like sailors? We get away with murder until our looks go. Then we’re thrown on the trash heap of life and forgotten.”

  “Mother,” his dad said.

  “Fine. No cookies for my cutie.”

  “Where’s Jim-Bob?” his mom said.

  “Whoring,” Nana Sophia said.

  “Jesus, Mother.”

  “He’s a walking dick these days,” Nana Sophia said. “Thank you, Viagra. I hope his heart pops like the cancerous zit it is.”

  “Jared’s right here,” his dad said.

  “Fine. No cookies and no unpleasant truths. Dry toast and stern lec
tures for everyone. Should I throw in a couple of hair shirts for good measure?”

  “Why don’t you dump his sorry ass?” his mom said.

  “I want the house,” Nana Sophia said. “I’m hoping he humps himself to death so I don’t have to waste money on private investigators and lawyers.”

  “Classy,” his dad said.

  “Your dad was classy,” Nana Sophia said. “Jim-Bob was fun until he became the star of Geezers Gone Wild.”

  His mom snorted then laughed her head off.

  “You’re a pip,” Nana Sophia said to his mom. “I like you. But I looooove my cutie. I do. I want to cuddle you and hug you all night. What do you say? I have Monsters, Inc. or Toy Story.”

  “Monsters, please,” Jared said.

  “Oh, pretty manners, Jelly Bean,” his mom said. “Let’s get your jammies on.”

  His mom helped him change into his jammies in the bathroom. The counter was covered in perfume bottles that his mother touched and lifted to her nose.

  “Are you okay alone with Nana Sophia?”

  Jared nodded, even though he suspected Nana Sophia might wait until they were alone to say mean things. But he also hoped that once his parents were gone, she’d give him cookies.

  “You’re mine,” his mom said. “Remember that.”

  He brushed his teeth and his mom gave his face and pits a good scrub with the washcloth. He told her he wanted to pee by himself and his mom hugged him even though his back teeth were floating as his dad would say.

  Nana Sophia had her big-screen TV all set up. She’d made cocoa, which she claimed wasn’t dessert because it had calcium in the milk plus she’d left off the whipped cream. Jared thanked her and put the cocoa on the coffee table. The cup was baby-sized and Jared could finish it in a single gulp, but he was going to wait until his dad was gone. When Nana Sophia was amused, her eyes sparkled.

  “Don’t keep him up too late, Mother,” his dad said.

  “Remember love is not all about your orgasms, son,” Nana Sophia said.

  His mom giggled.

  “Take everything she says with a bucket of salt,” his dad said. He ruffled Jared’s hair.

  “See you in the morning, Jelly Bean,” his mom said, kissing his forehead.

  “Night,” Jared said.